The Dirty Deets

Part of making goals is figuring out the steps to attain said goals. It's the SMART system that your high school guidance counselor probably introduced you to but you didn't pay attention because you knew everything already. Or it's what that Inspo-Porn Instagrammer pretends doesn't exist because magic and fairy tales brand better. My passive aggressive point is- I need to figure out how the hell to actually make these resolutions actionable. 

Yet again, this post is probably just for me. But here you are, still reading it. Haha- sucker. Get ready to be bored. 

    1. Exercise
                    This is the most classic and I think the hardest of my resolutions. There are always mental hurdles, but there's a lot going on here and a lot of processing to be done. I've been in physical therapy most of 2020 and I have finally been cleared to do some basic workouts. I have an elliptical at home which needs to get far more use than it does, both length of use and frequency. I also have a ridiculous amount of workout videos and a Wii U and plans from personal trainers. I am overwhelmed by choice. But I suppose I'd like to be able to pick a pre-made workout plan and see it all the way through. Perhaps I need to change the name of this specific resolution to DO HITT/CARDIO WORKOUTS. Will consider more closely as time goes on. 
                    -Use the elliptical 3 times a week minimum, working up to everyday. 
                    -Complete a 5k on the elliptical. Maybe a 10k.
                    -Follow and complete a workout plan by Darihana Nova (since I have ALL OF THEM dear lord I have a problem)
                    -Take the stairs when possible.
                    -Go for a walk, for heaven sakes. 
                    -Ride a bike, if a safe place to do so is found.

    2. Eat healthy
                    What a landmine. What does healthy even MEAN? I'm not doing Keto, because fuck Keto- it's insane and potentially harmful to your body. Counting calories is definitely part of this, even though it makes me stupidly, destructively competitive. But I suppose the most important thing is learning how to eat for me. My body is fussy and grumpy 90% of the time, and I'm sure a sizable chunk of that is my diet. 
                    -Drink less soda. Getting it down to once a week is a good place to start.
                    -Log every meal.
                    -Keep caloric intake between 1500-2000 calories a day. 
                    -Figure out the best times to eat for my body.
                    -Stop eating fast food. Once a month is ideal, if that.
                    -Eat less meat and sugar. Maybe do a meatless Monday and Friday. 
                    -Meet protein goals every day (25% of daily intake, or at least 100g)

    3. Lose weight 
                    I have a long way to go and a lot to lose. I can fairly consistently lose 10 pounds and gain it all back again, so I'd like to be able to lose at least 50 pounds this year. My overall goal is 120 pounds but, honestly, if I can lose 80, to be where I was when I graduated high school, I think I'd be satisfied. I still want to be able to eat good food with semi-regularity. I really should make this about percentage of fat lost, but I have no way to test that accurately. Maybe tracking BMI? I realize that neither of these are exactly great metrics to track, since you can be thicc and in good shape. I don't know. This is what we can start with. 
                    -Current stats: 232 pounds, BMI of 45.7
                    -Goal: 115 pounds, BMI of 19.5

    4. Make a workable budget- and stick to it! 
                    I honestly have no idea what to do here. I've used YNAB and EveryDollar and the issue is simple: I have to stop spending money. I barely make enough money to cover my bills. There's no way in hell that I can afford to have all the stuff I have. Especially since, come summer, I will no longer be employed for at least 3 months. 
                    -No impulse purchases. It goes in the wish list and sits for a month.
                    -Track every dollar spent in EveryDollar
                    -Stop using credit cards
                    -Pay more than the minimum payment
                    -Pay off medical bills by setting up payment plans.
                    -Put any extra money aside for June-December, and hopefully put enough aside to cover all the bills before May, so any money made in May can be a cushion. 
                    -Make every cut possible. Cancel subscriptions where possible. 

    5. Get organized (all classics)
                    A Sisyphean task for a teacher/collector/hoarder/layabout. I have too much stuff and not enough space and, therefore, not enough space to pull things out into in order to to get organized. This is yet another task that will develop as the year goes, but for now:
                    -Make the filing cabinets usable as filing cabinets.
                    -File every box of papers
                    -Clean and label the shelves in the garage
                    -Better organize the storage unit
                    -Catalog every book, record, cd, movie, board game, and expensive thing worthy of collecting insurance on in Delicious Library
                    -Organize and label boxes under the stairs
                    -Properly organize library. Alphabetically, bitches. (Well, maybe. If somehow I don't have to stack everything in 2x2 columns.)
                    -Go through every damn box and find homes for everything
                    -Designate a home for everything
                    -Make the kitchen actually accessible and nice to cook in.

    6. Cook something new every week
                    Self-explanatory. Don't get stuck in a rut, but don't go overboard. Write down what you like and would make again. It's ok to have favorites. Decide what you're making ahead of time and don't over anticipate what you can cook and eat in a week. But don't be afraid to experiment. You can try things that sound terrible because you know they'll work out. Confidence! 
                    But maybe just plan these out now? Put it on a calendar maybe? 

    7. Don't eat out/get take out as much
                    Again, self-explanatory. But figure out why eating out keeps happening when it shouldn't.
                    -Make a meal plan, at least a week in advance
                    -Cook in batches, not nightly
                    -Pick easy, doable things. This isn't the French Laundry. 

    8. Make and stick to a cleaning schedule
                    Delegate and conquer. Quick clean while all the organizing is happening, then deep clean. After that, it should be able to be kept up in an hour or two, set aside once a week. Decide on daily, weekly, and monthly chores and write it down in a prominent place. Maybe get stickers? Make a reward chart? That could also help with impulsive spending! Speaking of...

    9. Significantly decrease my proclivity for impulse shopping.
                    Is this tied into #4 and budgets? I do believe it is! A pattern emerges! So follow #4's lead and work on ADHD symptoms. Easy. Also, it's ok to return things. You aren't losing some weird competition if you have to return something.

    10. Start doing yoga/mindfulness with some regularity
                    My body always felt better when I was practicing yoga with regularity. I'd like to bring this back, and I'd like to do it every day. Mindfulness is hit or miss. Figure out what works and what doesn't.
                    -Do the breathing/calm exercises on the FitBit daily.
                    -Read the yoga books and come up with a personal plan.
                    -Talk to your step mom. She doesn't bite.
                    -Make space in the living room (or other room) to practice.
                    -Find a YouTube yogi and learn.

    11. Don't do homework/stuff on a deadline at the last minute
                    I can do six months of work in a week, easy. I say easy because mentally, it's easy. But I'm a really slow worker, and that's the stressful bit and it's always a rush to finish. No ambitious schedules. Just doable, achievable work tables. MAKE TIME.

    12. Drink the requisite amount of water (and find out what said requisite amount is)
                    Requisite amount of water for me is half my weight in ounces plus 16 ounces, to account for medication. So that's a little more than a gallon? I have a 32 ounce water bottle, so I either need to drink 4 of those (which will still amount to less than a gallon, but close enough), or 8 Arrowhead water bottles (which seems to be the only water I can drink right now without feeling sick- should probably figure that out too). 

    13. Create 50 new recipes for the cookbook (and write the damn things down, instead of half-heartedly scrawling them on the back of grocery lists and hoping future me speaks gibberish)
                    One a week is doable, right? I'll finish this book by the time I'm 40. I hate that. Maybe I should change this to twice a week? And I could properly keep track of these by writing on my two food blogs twice a week instead of letting them languish in obscurity. I have a feeling this resolution will ebb and flow with the tide. One a week, with two weeks off for holidays. That's enough to shoot for.

    14. Keep going to therapy- maybe graduate to not needing it EVERY week?
                    -Make appointments
                    -Go to appointment
                    -Do the work

    15. Finish physical therapy successfully, aka DO THE DAMN EXERCISES
                    -Make appointments
                    -Go to appointment
                    -Do the work
                    -Ask physical therapist if she wants to be friends? Her playlist has Moulin Rouge on it. Our friendship is predestined. 

    16. Lift all the weights. ALL. THE. WEIGHTS.
                    Do you have a weight? I will lift. Does your friend have a weight? I will also lift.
                    Seriously though, weightlifting is essential to making my body just be normal, according to my doctor and nutritionist. I'm sure I'll make new goals as the year goes along, but this feels like a minimum and maximum situation.
                    -Lift 2 times a week to start, working up to 5 days a week.
                    -Be able to do curls and skullcrushers using the adjustable dumbbells at their full weight (27.5 lbs- although I swear they're more), 10 reps for 3 sets.

    17. Complete a proper clean out of the house- go through old clothes, random bits, etc.
                    This is almost too scary to think about right now. This is a summer project. An issue for future Alana. Although, simultaneously, I feel like a bunch of other resolutions on this list also cover this one in a much more gentle and achievable way? Let's revisit this later. Maybe I don't need it.

    18. Wear make up more than once a month, and experiment with it. Makeup should be fun!
                    Another potential landmine because I hate my face. Considering I hate my face, it is a wonder that I don't try to cover it up with pigments and flourishes more often. It's just laziness and self-loathing. But maybe if I wear makeup, I can trick myself into caring.
                    -Wear simple makeup on days I work
                    -Make a fun look once a week
                    -Try a makeup tutorial once a month
                    -Go bold with the eyeliner

    19. Develop a skin care routine because you're old and wrinkly now
                    Put on some damn lotion! Although, honestly, I didn't know you were supposed to put on lotion everywhere until... September. And that there's separate face and body lotion until... October. I feel incredibly dumb. I just have always had a love/hate relationship with my skin (thanks genetics), so it was easier to ignore it than deal with it. 
                    -Lotion up dat booty (and other stuff) after every shower.
                    -Apply cleanser and face lotion before bed every night and every morning.
                    -Deal with those bumpy things on my arms. Or get rid of skin if they don't go away. 
                    -Look into some ridiculous and expensive way to deal with ingrown hairs. If no solution is found, get rid of skin.

    20. Develop a daily health regiment and stick to it. 
                    Just don't be a neanderthal and practice self-care. Shower, shave, all that stuff. You know what to do. Maybe get everything in one place instead of casting it to the four winds and hoping it lands in an accessible spot would be a good place to start. Why was your toothbrush in the living room this morning? WHY!? 
                    -Shave once a week at least (Am I supposed to do more than that? I don't know!)
                    -Put stuff back where it belongs in the bathroom
                    -Take your pills
                    -Refill pill boxes once a week
                    -Set up auto-refills with the pharmacy
                    -Drink your fiber! 2 tablespoons daily. Poop like a champion!

    21. Complete a once-a-month project of projects that have been started, but never finished
                    -Make a list of said projects
                    -Pick a fun month to complete said project(s)
                    -Finish projects
                    -Literally, just finish anything for once.

    22. Do more crafts (and don't let them stress you out too much)
                    -Organize craft stuff
                    -Pick a thing
                    -Do the thing. Maybe once a week for an hour to start. 
                    -Find out what you like to do vs. what you think would be impressive.

    23. Go to bed and wake up on a regular schedule
                    -LISTEN YOUR SLEEP THERAPIST
                    -Figure out ideal schedule in concert with med times and food eating times. Meals. That's the word.
                    -Use an alarm clock, not your phone
                    -Bed by 11pm/midnight. (Ideally 9/10pm)
                    -Wake up by 6/7am (Ideally 4/5am)
                    -Or go with what your body wants, which is to go to bed at 10 am and wake up at 4pm. Who knows what the unemployed future holds?

    24. Learn a new language.
                    I've been working on Spanish for years, but it never clicked as it should. French was easier, but I let that fall by the wayside. And there's always Japanese or Korean or German or Italian or Swahili. I have books for all of them! I think I just need to pick one. Korean is kind of calling my name.
                    -Use Duolingo daily
                    -Do bookwork 2-3 times a week
                    -Find a virtual language club

    25. Learn a new instrument (or get better at an old one)
                    I have 10 different instruments in this house and I am proficient at none. Maybe I should review theory first? 
                    -Pick a new instrument to work on every month until one feels good.
                    -Find a music theory course for review
                    -Practice said instrument for 20 minutes, 4 times a week at least.

    26. Finish my bachelor's in education
                    -One more semester to go! 
                    -Submit application for master's program by May (March is ideal)
                    -Complete all but two classes by April (but you can do better than that)

    27. Finish my personal training certification
                    -Must be completed by June
                    -Complete Anatomy courses by the end of January
                    -Complete bookwork by March
                    -Complete workshops by May
                    -Complete certification exams by June
                    -Find out how much all this shit costs by the end of January and add it to the budget.

    28. Finish my bachelor's in nutrition
                    -1 class per month minimum
                    -1 class per week ideally
                    -Submit in batches
                    -Complete BN classes first
                    -Schedule each class accordingly, including NH109 to actually complete practicum requirements by month.

    29. Get my curriculum development business up and running
                    -Apply for LLC or DBA
                    -Schedule prep and publish times (this can begin after WGU stuff gets a little more solidified)
                    -1 Film Studies plan published per week
                    -1 English plan published per month
                    -4 Math plans published per week
                    -1 History plan published per month
                    -1 Science plan published per month
                    -Take a graphic design class (or just be better at shit)

    30. WRITE. Write like your life depends on it. Because it does. And you know that. 
                    -100 words a day. That's all. Just write something.
                    -Finish outlines for Fugue, Saturnalia, Venus, Broomsticks, and Lavender. 
                    -Have 5 stories or articles bought/published.
                    -Participate in micro fiction challenges.
                    -Participate in NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNoWriMo. Finishing not required, just the ol' college try.
                    -Try a Writer's Workshop type prompt once a week. 



I'm officially overwhelmed. So overwhelmed I'm not even going to proofread this! Living on the edge! Y'all... I've been working on this post for days. Good God I'm tired. Once you break everything down... there's SO MUCH. I feel behind already. I feel lost. I feel broken. On the bright side, it's a good thing I'm doing this in enough time for my brain to reboot and not get so bogged down in all of this right at the starting line. I need to be kinder to myself and understanding of my own humanity. I know this. But for now, sleep. And panic attacks. And figuring out how managing this list won't consume my life. 

YAY.